A lady buys a top of the range Rolls Royce but took it back to the dealer the next day because the radio did not work. The dealer explained that it was a voice-activated radio which would respond to anything she wanted to listen to. For instance, if she shouted "Beethoven" the radio would play Beethoven and if she shouted "Elvis" the radio would play an Elvis song. If she did not want to listen to music she should shout "News" and the radio would respond with the latest news.
She tried it out several times and was delighted with the response. She was listening to some soothing music when a truck driven by an extremely stout gentleman swung out in front of her forcing her to slam on her brakes. She lowered her window and shouted "Fat moron" and the radio responded "This is a speech by Alastair Carmicheal on behalf of the Better together campaign"!